⋆⁺₊⋆☀︎⋆⁺₊⋆ What I DO/Don’t Have Control Of

It’s already February! Well, technically, since I also celebrate the Lunar New Year, it hasn’t been that far from the New Year. Last year felt a lot more chaotic because I was easily affected by things I couldn’t control.

I wanted to sit down and write this post today to better inform myself about what I already have under control, what I have been disillusioned with not having control of, and what is really out of my control.

✧・゚: What I Have Control Of Currently :・゚ ✧

• Side projects
• Writing
• Anime
• Language learning
• Social media usage
• Other hobbies that are not listed here
• Who I hang out with
• Offer services to attempt and make a living on my own

What I Should Have Control Over

Here is a list of things I struggled with last year but should have more control over. I have listed the items and the details of my struggle.

• How I spend my weekends/holidays
  • There are usually four weekends in a month. I spend two weekends going home, and I like doing that.
  • So it comes down to the holidays I have, is it to take more time off work? Or is it to not go to every “expected” family gathering as some of them are more like a routine and not quality engagements
• When I end my day at work
  • I struggle the most with this one because, at the end of the day, it feels like I’ve done nothing if I don’t have any code to show. At the same time, though, I’ve never received negative feedback from my bosses, so maybe it’s a sign that I’m working too hard and way into the night. Does it matter if I get this code up tomorrow?
  • A recent example is that I got some project code up, but our team had to switch to work on something else when I was on holiday, and when I returned, that code was still in the same state as when I left. So, if I were not to rush to get the code up before the holidays, it probably wouldn’t even matter.
• Time/project management
  • I am really bad at time management, or maybe project management in general. First of all, I think I have too many hobbies, side blogs and accounts, and I need to start killing some of them, but how?

Things That Are Out of My Control

Since these are events beyond my control, I’ll list how I can cope if any of them happen.

• Getting fired/layoffs/drama in the company
  • I have an emergency fund that can keep me going for 3 years (not because I have a lot of money, it’s that I don’t have to pay rent and I barely spend money on anything)
  • Why 3 years? It’s because 3 years is enough time for significant life changes. Junior high and senior high schools also last for 3 years. More recently, I wasn’t even at this company 3 years ago, and working at this company has drastically changed my life. So, I think 3 years of emergency funds should be enough to turn the upsetting situation around.
• Whether people want to pay me for my services
  • As mentioned, I’m not financially stressed, so I don’t need to worry about this. The only thing I need to worry about is not setting up my services.
• Being emotional blackmailed
  • I’ve been at a better spot after becoming smallpancakes. I’ve learned a lot during my experiments, and sometimes, they caused me sleepless nights because of the uncomfortable actions I had to take.
  • I cannot control the blackmailer’s actions, but I can better manage how I deal with them when they occur.

Writing things down now, the “Out of My Control” section doesn’t look as scary. I think that’s the magic of writing.

The top item I want to work on is time/project management. It will probably be highly related of my working hours so that I can execute better.

#murmur #2025-goals